From Mommy: Today wasn't the day our adoption was finalized. We weren't all there at the courthouse, dressed in Sunday best amongst the flashing cameras of our joyful extended family. Rayna wasn't wearing the beautiful new dress and shoes we went out and shopped for together - just the 2 of us. There will be no party tonight. No pink and purple balloons. No chocolate cake with, "Welcome Home, Rayna!" scrawled accross the top in icing. Friends won't gather around to congratulate and celebrate with us.Our office is still an office, and I hate the blue walls that stare back at me. They should be pink. This bulky computer desk should be a frilly bed.
God's plan is best. I know this. But I also know that our "farewell visit" with Rayna today was one of the hardest things I've ever done. The State gave us half an hour at the office to see her one last time. They figured they'd better. After all, we were mere weeks away from adopting her. Before our caseworker called us with the news,"there's been a change in the case".
I'll never forget her voice as our alloted time was coming to a close, "You cwying, Mom? Mama owie?" Yeah, Sweetie, Mama has an owie. One that not even a Princess Band-Aid and a kiss will fix. Then the social worker came, "It's time to go, now." Ray ran off, "Eh get backpack! Eh ready go Mama, Daddy!" She didn't understand why she couldn't come with us. We don't understand why, either. God, help. We don't understand.
This is a hard day. Awfully hard. But I know there are happy ones ahead. I will try to remember that as I go fix dinner for 4.
12 comments:
Oh, my heart aches for you and for Rayna. I am so sorry. Hold onto the knowledge that God loves her even more than you do, and that He has a plan for her life. I know you will always pray for her.
Big hugs....
Mary
I'm crying with you - what an awful thing for your heart to experience. Maybe there will be another change in the case?!
I will especially pray over her, for protection for her physical body but also for her emotions and her spirit.
I get so frustrated with "the system" when I hear things like this. There has got to be a change!
I am so very sorry for you. I too will pray for little Rayna, for her protection, for comfort and healing for her spirit, for His angels to surround her and to pour His love into her.
May He comfort your heart during this time!
You have my deepest sympathy. I will be keeping you, Rayna, and the rest of your family in my thoughts.
Did they give any reason why? Are you planning to get a lawyer?
Are you going to fight for her?
This happened in our home when I was a teenager, but the foster child was 9, not younger. And I remember the last day Sharon was my little sister as if it were last year, not almost 15 years ago.
I'm so sorry. I hope you can find peace in the midst your heartbreak.
Sweetheart, I don't even know how to comfort you, Micah and the boys.
My heart is broken also. All I know for sure, is that your little family was placed in her life and that she was placed in yours ~ this was God's will. You made a difference and some day all the reasons will come to light. You all cared and loved without restraint and, unfortunately, that sometimes leads to a broken heart.
God has your children chosen & he will bring them to you in His time and His timing is perfect. Keep leaning on Him,seeking His face and staying in His Word ~
He has a plan for your family and I'm so excited to see it unfold!
We will all remember and pray for our precious Rayna - always! Mom
Only God knows why this went the way it did. Was it to prepare you for your next trial? Or maybe show Rayna what amazing parents with strength and love are?.. There was a reason. She brought joy into your lives and you brought an army into hers. She has so many people praying for her well being, You brought knowledge of the Life of Jesus into her life. Your family are survivors. Believe me when I say I know what if feels like to lose a child you so badly wanted. It hurts, but we hand everything over to him. He becomes our comforter and he rewards us with his unconditional love. You are amazing parents! You will have many children of God. You will be rewarded greatly. Love you all
Lunde's
I understand your frustration with Family and Children Services. We have had our own troubles with them. We wanted to foster and they shut the door on us. The worker spent more time on how our religion would play into raising the child than anything else. I've heard too many times of the same thing that your're going through. Why is no one up high (government) paying attention? These children face enough rejection before getting a good home. God help us!
I am so sorry. May Jesus hold you near.
Renee
My Dearest Daughter-in-Law & Son, we all loved Reyna beyond words. I know you are hurting and I myself don't really understand but I have to beleive that this will all work out for the best. I also know that all the love you two & the boys gave to her, she will NEVER forget. She will always rememaber!!! We will continue praying for her and her wellbeing. We will pray for you all too, If there was a way to ease your pain I would do whatever I could.
Papa & Goga
All our love and support always
Oh my goodness...I've been away way too long!!! I'm SO sorry!!!! I know this must still be painful for you! How are you doing???? I'd love to hear from you in an email - I have lots of q's for you!!!
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