We'll be keeping J.J. until his mom chooses his new family. I e-mailed my adoption worker and asked if this kind of thing happened a lot. Seems like kind of a burn to us foster families who take the legal and emotional risk of caring for these kids only to have their birth parent dictate another family for them. Why should parents who have had their children taken by DHS have that right? We're good enough to take him with 20 minutes notice, take him to all his doctor's appointments, parental visits, WIC screenings, change him, feed him, love him, hold him down for breathing treatments, get up in the night with him.......but not good enough to adopt him? No. We only get to do those things until another family is chosen for him by his unstable parent.
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Yeah. Burn.
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But I won't make J.J. suffer another move because of an unfair system with legal loopholes the size of Texas. We're committed to be there for him for as long as he needs us. Will transitioning him be more difficult the longer he's here? Yup. Will it be harder on everyone? Yup. Is life fair? Nope.
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Our worker did say that this is an exceptional case (and admitted that we always manage to get the exceptional cases :) and the circumstances have to be very exact for this to happen.
I do feel good about seeing this through, though, even if it seems unfair. It's really not "me" to abandon a baby because I didn't get my way.
My way would have been nice, though.
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