Adoption News:

We have a Committee date for Levi!!

Next Thursday!!

Who are we going up against?

Ourselves!!

A round of applause for bureaucracy, please!

I guess the Committee just eats it up if you bring the child with you, since it's a current caretaker, or "branch" adoption, so I just went on EBAY and found a darling little suit for our little guy:

His crowd-working skills will be well used that day, I'm sure.
*****
And in J.J.'s case, his mom is now unsure about the decision she's made and has yet to pick out a family to adopt him privately.

She's torn.

We found out that she doesn't have any pics of J.J., so I bought a really pretty album for her. Every week I give her new pics of him. It keeps her posted on what he's doing over here (pics from Oaks Amusement Park, Riverfront Park, Gilbert House, etc) and shows her the interactions he enjoys with the dog, bunny, cat and brothers. We also did a professional photo session just of J.J. for her to have some nice 8x10s and wallets.

I've met her and talked with her.

I can honestly say that she's the first of my birth parents that I feel compassion for. I know. That sounds harsh. But they deserved to lose custody!
It just has always seemed to me that I'm the one trying to un-do their mess, heal the wounds they've been selfish enough to inflict upon their innocent children. The children who I fall in love with so easily in spite of the challenges.

I wonder, "How could you do this to your own baby? Any baby, really, but especially your own child?"

This mom is the only one I've ever attempted any openness with. She has had the kind of life that keeps dealing blow after blow. And then kicks you in the head when you fall down. Much of it was not her fault.

She loves her son.

I love her son.
We'll see what happens on July 8th. If he's to be placed privately, she has to have a family chosen by that date. We'll all go to court and the judge will decide if he'll stay with us or go with them. If the decision is for him to move, it will happen that very day because he'll no longer be in State custody. If he isn't moved that day, it looks good for us keeping him forever. Pray God's will. Once again!

PS -

Please pray for our former foster sons, R & M.

I came to know the extent of R's needs when he was with us that 5 days. Levi wasn't going to be OK if we kept them here. The next family they went to have decided that they can't meet his needs either. The State is now recruiting nationally for a family for R, M, and their 7 year old sister.

May God have his hand upon these kids. May their parents feel the calling of the Holy Spirit and find them.

Love them.

Graduation 08

Well, summer is in full swing at the Lewis house! This year I enrolled Malachi in the camp that Solly attended last year. He was a year too young, but they let him attend because they knew him from last year. He happened to be there with me as I stayed on the premises all day to covertly monitor the care of my precious eldest. Kai and I used the time to play at the river while Solly's group was fishing upstream, hike on parallel trails as Sol's group enjoyed their nature walk, and eat our bagged lunches where Solomon couldn't see us, but I could hear how he was faring. The counselors there came to know us and, seeing as it was a home school oriented camp, they welcomed my paranoia.

I've come a long way in a year!

I actually dropped Solomon & Malachi off, kissed them, handed them their lunches and......gasp......left them in Dallas to enjoy themselves!

They had a great time. And I got to spend some quality time with Levi and J.J.

On the last day of camp, I picked up my big boys and we headed straight to our home school co-op's graduation party. Solomon got his certificate for completing the 1st grade and Kai graduated from Kindergarten.

By the time we headed home with bellies fully of cake and such a fun and busy day behind us, everyone was tired. By the time we got home, my eldests were out cold. Summertime has begun!

Washin'

"Eh wash da toy, Mom!"

"Eh wash da Babbit, Mom!"

"Eh wash da doddy, Mom!"

"C'mere!"

"C'mere minute!"

"C'MERE MINUTE DODDY!!"

"Ehhhhh!"

But I Just Made a Hard Decision!!

Our caseworker called. I'm always glad to hear from her because the conversation usually ushers in a journey of some kind with some cute kid on the line. Note that only one of these journeys have been successful so far.
1 win, 8 losses.
That's right. 8. We were filling out renewal forms for our homestudy and one of the questions was, "Number of foster children in your care thus far:". Micah and I were surprised as we added them up. We never really thought of ourselves as foster parents. We're just trying to adopt, for Pete's sake! But there they were. 9 fingers as we ticked off their names. Sheesh!
Anywho, back to our phone conversation:
CaseWorker: So, what's J.J.'s transition look like? When's he moving?
Me: Whyyyyyy?
CW: We have another 8 month old. Mom is also expecting and due in October. 2 older siblings are adopted out, but the family isn't interested in being a resource for the next 2 because they're also expecting a baby soon.
Me: (Sigh).
CW: You could get 2 at once and be done for a while!
Me: (Larger sigh). Boy or girl?
CW (laughing): Boy. We don't know what new baby will be yet.
Me: Newborn? Ugh. They're so exhausting!
CW: Well, think about it. They have court for a permanency plan on Tuesday. If the plan is switched to adoption....
Me: We'll think and pray.

They're killin' me, man.
Killin' me.

Emotionally Scarred Monkey

I was having a conversation the other day while I was doing dishes. With Monkey. Monkey is one of Kai's favorite stuffed animals. Kai was so helpful to translate for monkey as we had our chat:

Mommy: "Well, hi monkey! What are you up to?"

Monkey: "Nothin'. Just enjoyin' the city."

Mommy: "Oh! Well, glad to hear it. Why did you move from the jungle to the city?"

Monkey: "Well, my parents were swingers."

Decision Made:

We'll be keeping J.J. until his mom chooses his new family. I e-mailed my adoption worker and asked if this kind of thing happened a lot. Seems like kind of a burn to us foster families who take the legal and emotional risk of caring for these kids only to have their birth parent dictate another family for them. Why should parents who have had their children taken by DHS have that right? We're good enough to take him with 20 minutes notice, take him to all his doctor's appointments, parental visits, WIC screenings, change him, feed him, love him, hold him down for breathing treatments, get up in the night with him.......but not good enough to adopt him? No. We only get to do those things until another family is chosen for him by his unstable parent.

*****

Yeah. Burn.

***

But I won't make J.J. suffer another move because of an unfair system with legal loopholes the size of Texas. We're committed to be there for him for as long as he needs us. Will transitioning him be more difficult the longer he's here? Yup. Will it be harder on everyone? Yup. Is life fair? Nope.

*****

Our worker did say that this is an exceptional case (and admitted that we always manage to get the exceptional cases :) and the circumstances have to be very exact for this to happen.

I do feel good about seeing this through, though, even if it seems unfair. It's really not "me" to abandon a baby because I didn't get my way.

My way would have been nice, though.

J.J.'s Leaving

Well, J.J.'s mother has chosen a private adoption for him. She believes this will allow for more openness and visits she wouldn't otherwise have. This is probably true. Now we have to decide if we should keep him until the new family is chosen and transition him, which could be a couple of months, or have him moved now. We're torn. On the one hand: is another move good for J.J.? Where would he go? Would they take good care of him? Don't we want to see this through, finish what we started? Teach the boys that we complete things to the best of our ability even when it's difficult?

***

On the other hand: Am I strong enough (or willing) to continue to bond to J.J. and care for him knowing that another family was chosen over mine and I'll have to give him to them? Is it good for my boys to continue to bond to him? What if another child comes into foster care that could be ours, but we're in limbo with Joshua and the child is placed elsewhere? Back and forth, back and forth. Micah has left it up to me. I'll see what our caseworker says...

Oaks Amusement Park

Mommy and Kai-Kai:

Saturday we ventured out to Micah's work picnic at Oaks Amusement Park. It was good times! The kids got all the rides they could want, we won a $50 gas card at the raffle (which at current gas prices covered the cost to drive there) and there was plenty of free food.

Daddy and Levi:

Weapons make them smile!
Look at Levi's face!! He was lovin' this!
On the foster care front, J.J.'s mother was told that she could either leave him where he is and DHS will pursue adoption with us, or she could place him for adoption privately. I have never heard of this before, but I guess the lawyer that mom is working with has done it several times. The up side for her would be signing an open adoption contract with the parents of her choosing. She could call the shots with regards to how open the adoption would be, if she could have visits, etc. The down side is another move for the baby. She has to decide by July 8th. We'll see what she chooses.

I did meet with her, give her pictures I had taken of the baby, and we chatted for a while. I feel that it went well and she saw that J.J. likes me. But she may not want him to be child # 4 in the family. I could really see this going either way. God will have the final word.

Life with 4 Little Boys

This picture closely represents how I feel the last few days of settling into a schedule with 4 little boys. I'm tired and I need a long bath! Actually, it's been great. This pic was taken after a photo shoot at the mall. A successful photography session most always ends up like this - tired boys with bribery all over their hands and face. So worth it, though, to document those smiles!

J.J.'s case is going well, I think. DHS is moving toward adoption. But keep in mind that we just got this guy and do not have Current Care-taker status yet. We're far, far from our 6 month mark. I believe the family search still has to happen too, although that avenue will probably hold no options for J.J.

As always, it's up to God to plan our family. He's done a fantastic job so far!