The Magical No-Pooping Dog

I love dogs. My dog in particular. But, when you purchase a dog you sign up for some not-so-appetizing tasks that, left undone, will leave your yard smelling like our beloved Willamette River.

The last few days had begun to warm up and the children were taking notice. I knew that tomorrow would be nice enough to play in the back yard. With a sigh, I went to get a pair of disposable latex gloves and a Wal-Mart bag. It had to be done.

As I meandered out into the yard for my first "Poo-Poo Patrol" of the year (I know, I know, it had been far too long) I noticed something strange. The yard was clean. I spun around, searching the ground in confusion. Well, he must have been using the play area. Darn it! He knows not to go up there. Up the steps I went, muttering admonitions to my dog who had seen me outside and quickly joined me, all smiles. I looked around. No poo. It seemed I had the world's first magical no pooping dog! Fantastic!

Just then Lexx began sniffing around and walking in quick circles. Curious, I stood and watched as my pooch trotted toward the fence in the back and pawed at one of the boards. It wiggled and he pushed it to the side with his muzzle and squeezed through to our neighbor's (very nicely manicured) back yard. My eye found a hole in the board just in time to see Alexxander doing his business. In his usual spot, it appeared. My happy dog then squeezed back through his secret passageway, quite pleased with himself. Mouth agape, I charged inside to Micah, "You know what your dog (he's only my dog when he's charming and sweet) is doing?! He's squeezing through to Ryan and Brandi's back yard for his morning constitutionals! There's 3 months worth of poo in their yard!" My husband squatted and turned to Lexx, "Who's a good boy!? Yes! He's a gooood boy!! Yes he is!!"