Shelter Hearing

Well, Rosie's bio mom had court Tuesday. Since this was technically a shelter hearing (the initial court date after a child comes into care when the judge decides if the child should stay in foster care or that DHS jumped the gun and the child should be returned with a safety plan implemented) the judge did decide that she will stay in care. The judge also gave Mom a 2-hour visit per week and enrolled her in a "Baby Bonding Group" to take with Rosie. Zephan did these with his bio-mom and it's supposed to support confidence and accountability. The teachers of these groups are really good and I'm glad she and her Mom will be taking these classes. Caseworker is holding her cards close in regards to the birth dad. When I asked if he'd be visiting I got a, "Nope." and when I tried to ask a bit more about him, I didn't get any answers. I think there may be something fishy going on with this birth dad. I asked if he was incarcerated and got, "We think so." We think so? They haven't looked? This is odd. I know caseworkers are all as different as any individuals who make up any group, but this particular one is very business-like and doesn't like to chat a whole lot. She may just be that way, or there may be some interesting things going on here. Maybe both. I'd sure like to know if they're doing a relative search, though...
Anyway. She's doing great! Such a sweetheart. I DO admit: IT'S SO FUN TO DRESS A GIRL!! All the tights with frilly hinders and ruffles and headbands and fancy little socks and size zero Mary Jane church shoes. Augh! It's killing me!
She usually wakes to be fed 2-3 times a night but is content to go right back to sleep until the household wakes. She's really starting to look around and hold her head up. Zephan has shocked us by being either interested, loving or ambivalent about her and hasn't shown any negative behaviors whatever. Shocker! Seriously.
The older 3 smile and coo at her and I'm sure when she gets a bit more interactive they'll attach more. They're curious about why she isn't with her parents and it has opened up a nice space for dialog about choices, drugs, alcohol and choosing Godly friends.
Levi has begun asking some questions, as well, and we've had some of our first "adoption talks" about how God can bring families together in all sorts of ways. He's now grasping that he has a birth mom and that she loves him. I hope God continues to guide my words to him to enforce how dear he is to us and tell him his story in a positive light.

Well, that was Quick!

Well, our CW called. "I have an 18-day-old baby for you, if you want.", she said. She proceeded to tell me about a case that was developing and it was sounding like what we were looking for. I said, "Yeah! This is all sounding pretty do-able!" She then says, "but there's one little thing.....it's a girl."
A girl?
She explained how she knew we wanted a boy, but this little one came in and she just felt that she needed to call and ask us if we were interested. I wasn't sure. I called Micah. He told me that he wasn't, in fact, surprised that we were offered a girl despite the fact that we firmly stated we'd only take a boy and asked for no calls for girls. Seems that he's had several "hints" that we would be caring for girl next, but he figured that, if that was indeed what God wanted, we'd know somehow.
So.
Here I am, sitting with my new foster daughter, "Rosie".
She's awfully small and sweet. Her 3 older siblings have been adopted out in another State and her Mom relinquished on all of them. We know that this will likely be a long-term placement, but permanency is, as always, indefinite. Now, I'm going to be drinking a bunch of chamomile tea and try to zen over the weekend in preparation for my annual, "We got a new placement panic attack". Without fail, within the first week of a placement, I have a HUGE anxiety attack. I don't know why, exactly, but it happens without fail. I FREAK OUT amidst the re-arrangement of school schedules, re-organizing, figuring out a new routine from everything to getting loaded into the car to meals and bedtimes. Everything just has to settle back into place and it takes a little bit.
All this time I'm falling in love with a baby who may be taken from me. During one of those first nights I will lose it. I will call my mom. I will cry in the tub. I will wonder if I can do this. I will remember scary things like SIDS and Colic. Then, after a hug from my wonderful hubby and hearing him telling me,"You're not alone in this. WE will do fine." and my Mom gushing about how proud of me she is and assuring me that she's right across the street whenever I need her, THEN I'll settle down and chill out and enjoy myself. I'm hoping that maybe by expecting my little meltdown and preparing myself for it, that it will be easier for me to adjust quickly. Here's hoping! Little noodle has court next Tuesday and we'll know a bit more about her story, but for now...I'm off to make some Chamomile tea and rock a little one :)

Officially Waiting...

Well, our meeting with the caseworker was a success! She's a really neat Christian lady with her own adoption testimony. She adopted through foster care system, as well, and has been a foster parent to multiple placements so she can relate to all sides of this. She was very supportive of our desire not to be a "revolving door foster home", but to prayerfully consider each placement before they come to us and focus on attaining permanency. Will there still be drama? Yup. Are the stakes high? You betcha. But, foster parents are greatly needed especially as of late. Our State doesn't pay for/reimburse daycare expenses (and full time daycare costs about $150 ABOVE the monthly foster care payment) and, in this economy many Mommies are being forced back to work. One income isn't cutting it, so Mom is going back to work. DHS won't pay daycare, so the family has to give up the kids. This is leaving a deficiency.
So, all that to say; we get to help fill in the gap in a system that's in need, give a kiddo a safe place to be and maybe even grow our family. And they'll help out a bit with diapers and groceries. Sounds like a good plan to me!
Because we're being so selective in our placements, the wait may be a long one, but sometime this year we should get our call.