Bureaucracy.

I may have several posts with this heading! The reason bureaucracy is a real itch in my craw this particular time is because they're forcing us over to a new caseworker. After having the one we love for 8 stinkin' years. Management is redistributing case loads this year. Some rules are changing. Also, in our state, there are 2 routs to placement:

A) Foster care. This route may or may not end in adoption. The journey to an adoption includes the parents having approximately a year to work a case plan. If they can't get it together, a relative search is initiated. No family? Widen the search to include other siblings who are already in an adoptive placement. Does the family who has the sibling(s) want this child as well? No? OK. They'll then consider letting the child stay with the foster parents.

B) Adoption Committee. We would look through a notebook of children already freed for adoption and looking for an adoptive home. 3 families are chosen for each child/sib group. These 3 families prepare a photo album telling all about their family, hobbies, lifestyle, etc. A Committee is called, including the kid(s) caseworker and they decide which of the 3 families are most suitable to raise the kid(s). Each of the family's caseworkers go to these committees to represent their perspective family. 1 family is chosen and the children transition to them almost immediately.

Now, we've gone the Committee route before. The problem is, even if we do get selected (which we have several times), we don't win Committee because we already have children. Childless couples and families who only have 1 (or 2) are almost always chosen over the families who already have 3 or 4 children. It would be a long road of losing time after time. After time.
We may EVENTUALLY get lucky. Now, we may have better luck once hubbs graduates Nursing school and we attain a larger house, but for now it would be a slim chance.

Which leaves good ol' fashioned foster care. Which was what we were doing, but with a twist: our caseworker was primarily an adoption worker. If she heard of a child who needed placement and was pretty much a sure-shot for permanency, she would call us. This was great. We lost the triplets, and there was some significant drama, but were able to adopt 2 beautiful little boys this way and it was all very worth it.
Now we have a regular caseworker whose job it is NOT to match a family with an adoptive placement, but to get children into foster placements. The primary goal of their jobs are so different and they totally focus on different things. We've had some interesting experience (before the worker we like so much) where we felt that the Caseworker was saying what we wanted to hear in order to get us to take the child. Now we really have to filter these cases for ourselves on a case-by-case basis. That's scary for me.
That having been said, we did make the decision to go the foster care route. We'll give that until Micah finishes school and we get a bigger house (about 2 years, give or take). If we haven't attained permanency by then with another little one by that time, we'll probably pursue a sibling group through Committee.
I'm feel excited and nervous. Gosh, I hope we're doing the right thing. Hubbs HATES drama with a capital H. I don't mind it so much, but the loss. Ugh, the loss.
So, that's where we are tonight.
Oh, and I forgot to mention the coolest thing: My hubbs threw a surprise party for me the day before my birthday! I was clueless and it was bliss. My friends gave me gifts of Reeces PB Cups, Starbucks, Dutch Brothers and dark chocolate. My hubbs cleaned out my Amazon Wish List (Ohmifrekingosh!!!!!Squeeeeee!!!!) . There was a huge chocolate cake that said Best Mommy Ever. There were balloons and party horns and hugs, laughing and toquitoes with guacamole. I just LOVE that guy. Seriously.