Chickenpox and Caseworkers

So!
Here's our house 2 days before Solomon came down with.....The Chickenpox!!


Oh, yeah. It was an awesome time of many playdates with 10 children in our house. Needless to say, because Chickenpox has a long gestation period, all of these beautiful children were exposed. Luckily 2 of them had been vaccinated. But the rest were not. I made my rounds apologizing to parents. Now, thank the Lord, Sunday morning we skipped church as he wasn't feeling well. He wasn't spotty, yet, just feeling yucky. If we had gone he would have exposed the entire church! Anyhow, all the families were very understanding and, as a matter of fact, 8 children (including my niece) arranged for a playdate specifically to contract Chickenpox, thus getting them over with for their little ones while they're still small. I haven't heard back whether anyone has broken out yet, but I'm sure all the shared sippe cups and lollies will have their desired effect! Solomon's much better now and none of my others got it. My littles were vaccinated before they came to me, but I don't remember OKing that one for Malachi and he's still clear. Interesting. Guess time will tell as it can take 7-14 days to manifest.
Levi was the most disappointed with the whole thing because we'd planned to go to Chuck E Cheese for his birthday which was to be the day after until the spots appeared and spoiled our plans. He still managed to have a good time with a riegn check for ChuckE's and a smaller party at home. Most of the adults in the family were able to come and there was cake with candles and neat gifts. His favorite was the Darth Vader costume which I've just finally been able to peel off him and wash :)
Tuesday our new caseworker comes out to meet us. We've spoken on the phone and I have to say, I like the lady. Now, this may be in part because our old caseworker (the one we like and has been with us forever) may have had some pull in who she gave our case to. I got the feeling she was comfortable with who would be working with us from here. New lady seems very nice and we talked pretty in-depth about our family's needs, strengths and wishes. She understands our wish to adopt and, although we're both aware that this IS foster care, she's aware of our goals to attain permanency in at least SOME cases. So, after Tuesday we'll be officially "on the list". I was mentioning my "empty hip syndrome" now that Zephan is so big and grown-up. She assured me that my hip would soon be occupied.
It's making me smile as I write this because, although Zephan has all but retired from being carried, when I pick up a friend's baby, he immediatly regresses. Suddenly it's of utter importance that he be help RIGHT NOW. I'll have to arrange lots of one-on-one for my poor retired baby.
Anyway, at the tail end of all this Chickenpox nonsense, the family caught a nasty cold. So, I need to get off here and make my rounds refilling juice and chicken broth, handing out cough drops and garbaging snotty tissues. I'll leave you with a pic of Furgus falling asleep to the aroma of Kai-Kai's hinder. These 2 are so funny!

Bureaucracy.

I may have several posts with this heading! The reason bureaucracy is a real itch in my craw this particular time is because they're forcing us over to a new caseworker. After having the one we love for 8 stinkin' years. Management is redistributing case loads this year. Some rules are changing. Also, in our state, there are 2 routs to placement:

A) Foster care. This route may or may not end in adoption. The journey to an adoption includes the parents having approximately a year to work a case plan. If they can't get it together, a relative search is initiated. No family? Widen the search to include other siblings who are already in an adoptive placement. Does the family who has the sibling(s) want this child as well? No? OK. They'll then consider letting the child stay with the foster parents.

B) Adoption Committee. We would look through a notebook of children already freed for adoption and looking for an adoptive home. 3 families are chosen for each child/sib group. These 3 families prepare a photo album telling all about their family, hobbies, lifestyle, etc. A Committee is called, including the kid(s) caseworker and they decide which of the 3 families are most suitable to raise the kid(s). Each of the family's caseworkers go to these committees to represent their perspective family. 1 family is chosen and the children transition to them almost immediately.

Now, we've gone the Committee route before. The problem is, even if we do get selected (which we have several times), we don't win Committee because we already have children. Childless couples and families who only have 1 (or 2) are almost always chosen over the families who already have 3 or 4 children. It would be a long road of losing time after time. After time.
We may EVENTUALLY get lucky. Now, we may have better luck once hubbs graduates Nursing school and we attain a larger house, but for now it would be a slim chance.

Which leaves good ol' fashioned foster care. Which was what we were doing, but with a twist: our caseworker was primarily an adoption worker. If she heard of a child who needed placement and was pretty much a sure-shot for permanency, she would call us. This was great. We lost the triplets, and there was some significant drama, but were able to adopt 2 beautiful little boys this way and it was all very worth it.
Now we have a regular caseworker whose job it is NOT to match a family with an adoptive placement, but to get children into foster placements. The primary goal of their jobs are so different and they totally focus on different things. We've had some interesting experience (before the worker we like so much) where we felt that the Caseworker was saying what we wanted to hear in order to get us to take the child. Now we really have to filter these cases for ourselves on a case-by-case basis. That's scary for me.
That having been said, we did make the decision to go the foster care route. We'll give that until Micah finishes school and we get a bigger house (about 2 years, give or take). If we haven't attained permanency by then with another little one by that time, we'll probably pursue a sibling group through Committee.
I'm feel excited and nervous. Gosh, I hope we're doing the right thing. Hubbs HATES drama with a capital H. I don't mind it so much, but the loss. Ugh, the loss.
So, that's where we are tonight.
Oh, and I forgot to mention the coolest thing: My hubbs threw a surprise party for me the day before my birthday! I was clueless and it was bliss. My friends gave me gifts of Reeces PB Cups, Starbucks, Dutch Brothers and dark chocolate. My hubbs cleaned out my Amazon Wish List (Ohmifrekingosh!!!!!Squeeeeee!!!!) . There was a huge chocolate cake that said Best Mommy Ever. There were balloons and party horns and hugs, laughing and toquitoes with guacamole. I just LOVE that guy. Seriously.

Mixed Emotions

Well, folks, we're enjoying the snow and the fact that Zephan is legally ours! DHS wants to know......"what are we doing with your certification, now?" meaning are we open to another placement. They don't have a specific child for which they're asking, but just want to know if they can call us if there's a need. Although I'm feeling ready (and excited) for a new little one, Micah is anxious.
Heck, I'm anxious.
Are we ready to jump back into the drama and potential heartbreak? As a family, here's where we stand:
Solomon says he's ready and understands that the baby will, in all likelihood, be going home. Our default response is, "We're trying to get Baby home. But if there's no home for Baby, we'll be happy to have another Lewis!" He understands more than the others and is willing to risk loss.
Malachi has mentioned how difficult it will be for him to give a baby back. How it wouldn't be fair and he would be sad. But he's willing to share his home and family. Sharing and compassion are a non-issue for this one. It's the loss.
Levi is enamored with little folk and will be happy to have a wee one. He's a happy guy and will, in most likelihood, sail through all the issues. He's just not one to worry and is a very secure guy.
Zephan shoots the dog dirty looks if he's on my lap for too long - VERY possessive and aware that he's the baby. Being de-throned will be quite an adjustment for him. He's going to be a challenge, for sure!
So, there we are. It actually helps to write the run-down and assess "on paper" where we are with this decision. It's an exciting and frightening one and we've really begun praying about it. Things are so CALM right now! Everyone's happy and I'm not overwhelmed with the workload. Do we rock the boat?
On the other hand, I'm really feeling the pull. I do want more children and I don't want a ton of space between Zephan and the next one. Micah is open to more, as well. But probably just one more in this relatively small house. After nursing school we may have to move as we're quickly outgrowing this cozy home of ours.
Well. I guess we'll continue to pray and see what happens. For now, we have a great caseworker. Not many folks can say that! She's really a blessing. I trust her judgment...and she really filters the cases for us (as best she can) in order to give us the best shot at permanency. I guess we'll see what God does in 2010! I trust Him completely.