To the Triplets on Their First Birthday:

Hi, beautiful girls!

I can't believe it's been a year. A year since our caseworker called, "We have triplets in the hospital waiting to to home...but no home to go to." It's been a year since I called Daddy Micah at work and asked him if we could go get you. A year since hearing his slightly panicked silence, then the sigh that always signals his reservation to the fact that he loves kids - and me - too much to say no. In spite of the fact that our entire kitchen and living room had just been gutted. And I mean GUTTED, to prepare for new flooring, cabinets, and ceilings. There was a gaping hole in the kitchen wall (for the new window) and the sliding glass door was MIA. There was no running water in the kitchen. All the major appliances were out of commission and all the minor ones were issued temporary homes throughout the house. We were washing dishes in the tub, making coffee in the bathroom, cooking pancakes on an electric griddle in the living room.

It was the perfect time to bring home preemie triplets!

I called Nana and told her about you 3. Her shock quickly dissipated and was replaced by excitement and a desire to plan. She graciously offered to let you, Solomon, Malachi and me stay at her house across the street while Daddy Micah finished our house. With 3 extra bedrooms and a hardcore love of small, squirmy babies, it was perfect. We were so excited to go shopping for you!

Then it was time to meet you in the NICU. All collective 12 pounds. You were all so perfect and Selena was the only one still with a feeding tube. Savannah and Secilia, you were eating enough on your own. Selena would graduate from her tube just 2 days later. You were all doing so well!

I was so proud of you!

Once home, our days were a fog of doctor's appointments and sleep deprivation. Solomon and Malachi were such great helpers and loved to feed you! We took you to your first baseball game and watched as you grew.

And your Mother began to prove all the experts wrong. She pulled herself together and pursued being the Mother you needed! She began visiting you, caring for you, making plans to raise you. For the 4 of you to be a family.

The day I packed you up to leave was so hard. All your clothes were packed, your binkies clipped to your car seats so they wouldn't be lost en route. You looked so sweet, all in your matching outfits (as always). And I cried and wondered if I could ever go through this again.

Your caseworker's van pulled into the driveway, she walked up to me and said, "here's your official apologetic hug from DHS". She was a really great worker and in the following days checked in on you guys.

A lot.

She even drug herself out of her nice warm bed and drove across town in the dead of night to knock on your door and make sure your Mother was getting up with you. She came back with glowing reports on how you all were doing together. To ease my fear. And it did.

I was happy for you, but I missed you. I missed Selena's sweet, easy-going disposition, Savannah's snugly little self and even Secilia's feisty determination to pull her sisters' hair or suck their nose!

And I continued to wonder if I was strong enough to take on another beautiful child and then lose them.

Then December came. And the call. "There's a little boy who needs a family." As it turned out, there was also a family who needed a little boy. I was scared, but the minute I saw Levi's face, he was my baby. He's been such a blessing to our home and we just love him to pieces!

Now J.J. has joined us, as well. We don't know if he's meant to be ours forever or if, just like you, he's meant to bless our family just for now, until he goes home to a forever family. But, as he sits on my lap now, I know that I am strong enough to do whatever I have to do for him.

Even let him go.

Because I love him.

You taught me that.

Happy Birthday, girls.

Wherever you are.

Oaks Amusement Park

More good ol' summer fun over at Oak's Amusement Park. Nothing like a few squirt guns to keep you refreshed throughout the hot day.

Daddy and Levi on the carousel. Is that a stork they're riding? Daddy knows better than to associate with storks. Maybe it's a sign of things to come?

Mmmmmm. Snow cones.

Brothers forever!

Mommy and her boys:
The big slide produced nearly simultaneous laughing and crying from Levi.

Daddy & Kai do the Farris wheel.

.....and why I love my double stroller. They can face each other, sit stadium style, or I can lay back both seats and make a bed. A dear friend in our home school co-op gave the wonderful contraption to us and, boy, are we thankful on long days like these!

10:00am:

1:oo pm:

3:30pm:

Whew! What a fun day!

Birthday Party!

We all had a great time celebration Kai's 5th birthday! We had cousin Brielle over and enjoyed time together before everyone else came over. (Notice Alexxander sticking out his tongue at the camera.)I was able to take took advantage of the novelty of another female in the house. I keep a bag of hair bows and clips in my closet for just these occasions. Bree's hair was pig-tailed and bowed in no time. Too cute!

Meanwhile the big brothers rode their bikes down "the hill". The hill is actually a very slight slope adjacent to the mud pit. It offers just enough momentum to give a thrill, though.

Daddy and the 5-year-old:
Mommy and the 5-year-old:
Pinata!!
Nana made him a gorgeous new afghan and bought him a pair of walkie-talkies. Funny story about the walkie-talkies: later on that night Micah installed the batteries and immediately began picking up the conversation of 2 teenage girls.

So, of course, he shooed the boys away from their new toys and beckoned me over to eavesdrop with him. They were discussing a poor girl named Nicole (who apparently resembles Shrek's wife). We felt so bad for this Nicole kid.

We later discovered that, to our delight, we could insert ourselves into their conversation.

Let's just say the upcoming 08-09 school year may be easier for Nicole.

As a former Nicole myself, I can tell you, mean girls suck.



Happy Birthday to you Malachi!

War Games

"Do you concede? WELL, DO YOU?!?"

Happy 5th Birthday, Malachi!

The Could Have Beens

He was sitting on the couch watching Clifford (his fave) when I ran across our former foster sons' adoptive profile on a northwest special needs adoption photolisting. R & M were there, smiling from their bulletin with their sister. They've still not managed to move the 3 in together as the family who was going to adopt all 3 backed out. They became aware that they couldn't meet R's needs while parenting their other children. That's exactly where we found ourselves after 5 days with the 2 boys. Solomon was hanging in great, Malachi was doing really well, too. They're old enough to understand some things about what the boys had been through. It was little Levi who struggled. And thus, Micah and me.

***

It was such an incredibly hard decision to make. Although they had only been with us for 5 days, I knew another move would not be helping them. I knew if they stayed, Levi wouldn't do well. Such beautiful boys. So much potential. If only given time to heal, and the chance to know unconditional love. With prayer and sweat and probably some tears, they could thrive!

But what about Levi?

So torn. Such guilt.

I never saw their sister, and now I see her for the first time with her brothers. What a cutie. Her caseworker told me that she was so frustrated with her hair that she snuck scissors and chopped it. She needs a mom to take her to a salon and teach her how to work with it. I'm rambling, here, I know. I just want a good family for them so badly. I want them to have the childhood that they were robbed of.

***

Please pray for S, R & M.

Look Who's Standing Up!

Uh-oh. We're in trouble, now! I think little "sumo" is going to be walking pretty soon. He does an admirable job of keeping up with 3 big brothers as they fly through the house, but sometimes grows frustrated by his speed.

J.J. definitely thinks faster = better!

Here We Go.....

It's time for my favorite time of toddler hood. Potty training.

Ugh.

So, here's my bathroom counter complete with a basketful of new underpants and a Jelly Belly dispenser full of rewards. We also invested in this book:

It's truly the best part of all of this. Great literature. A true family (containing 4 boys) classic.

Ah, there's nothing like the sweet sound of giggling to keep it all in perspective through all the mess and cleaning!

Court Today

Well, we had court for J.J. today. The official plan was changed from reunification to adoption. His mom is still pulling for a private open adoption and has chosen a close friend of hers to adopt J.J.

I also told the court that our family desires to adopt the baby. We also found out that J.J. has an older brother who was adopted out previously and that family was contacted and asked if they were wanting to be a resource. That family is thinking about it but are apprehensive. J.J.'s mom doesn't want him placed with his brother, as that adoption isn't as open as she'd like it to be. His mom wants an ultra-open adoption with frequent visits. We aren't open to visits. Just pics and letters.

*****

So, we're back in court in 60 days and then the judge will decide if mom can chose an open adoption with her friend or if he'll stay here. Or if the other family changes their mind and decides to pop into the mess and pursue custody. DHS wants him to stay here with us.

I guess we'll see in 60 days.

Celebrating the 4th @ Riverfront Park

We're Celebrating Tonight!

Forever.
Enough said.