Quit Faking It

Alrighty. It Spews Forth inspired me with a very real, no nonsense post about real stuff. I'm going to follow her lead.
So, Rosie's Dad got out of prison. He's having bi-weekly visits with mom now. I asked if Dad was being considered as a possible placement. DHS said no. So far there has been nobody to step up for this child. Which leaves us. Only one problem: Rosie is a girl. We ALWAYS lose our girls. I had decided that we were a strictly boy household. Obviously she won't be staying. Our girls never do. Right?
OK, for the first several years we were open to either gender. All our girls left. Then we were blessed with a beautiful boy, our Levi. Who stayed. Then we opted to only accept boy placements. 5 months later we were blessed with our boy, Zephaniah. It seems to be in the stars.
Even when I called the breeder I had chosen to buy my Pomeranian. Only pup left was a boy. Malachi recently adopted a Guinea Pig. He decided on a girl and chose a pig from the female enclosure. We get the thing home and discover it's obviously a boy. Both cats? Boys. Same with our rabbit. There were 2 from which to choose, a male and a female. I chose the female. We got home and, come to find out, there was a mix-up. We had come home with.....the boy.
Over and over and over this happens. And I adore my boys, but I don't think I've given myself a chance to develop the desire for a girl. After Rayna left I constructed a sturdy wall against baby girls. They're cute, but not for this family. And I let my love for my boys absolutely take over and turn into a passion that hid any hint of a desire for a daughter. Eventually I may have to do something about this wall. IF this case evolves to look like she may be forever.
But I'm looking into the blue eyes of this beautiful baby girl with much speculation. Could I raise a girl successfully? It scares the pee out of me. I remember how I was as a teen, so emotional. Crushes on boys and crying when I started my period on my 10th birthday (sorry, TMI), lip-stick rules and rebellion and battles over too-short skirts and talking on the phone for hours at a time. It makes me tired just thinking about it.
I'd much rather deal with stupid pranks (embarrassing confession: I LOVE the Jack Ass movie and, although he has a potty-mouth, I find Bam Margera charming and funny) and wrestling and wet dreams and skateboards. I have a well-thought-out plan for those! I'm good! I know how to raise boys and seem to be good at it. And my hubby is the martial arts dude who loves camping and paintball and all things manly. What in the world was I thinking when I accepted this placement?!? She'll be doomed to grow up with a intimidated mom and a Dad that has no clue!!
So, that's my "Real" post. I will let you know if I have any epiphanies. Until then, I'm just loving this little baby who has stolen my heart against my will and is hard at work chipping away at my big ol' wall.