Emotionally Scarred Monkey

I was having a conversation the other day while I was doing dishes. With Monkey. Monkey is one of Kai's favorite stuffed animals. Kai was so helpful to translate for monkey as we had our chat:

Mommy: "Well, hi monkey! What are you up to?"

Monkey: "Nothin'. Just enjoyin' the city."

Mommy: "Oh! Well, glad to hear it. Why did you move from the jungle to the city?"

Monkey: "Well, my parents were swingers."

Decision Made:

We'll be keeping J.J. until his mom chooses his new family. I e-mailed my adoption worker and asked if this kind of thing happened a lot. Seems like kind of a burn to us foster families who take the legal and emotional risk of caring for these kids only to have their birth parent dictate another family for them. Why should parents who have had their children taken by DHS have that right? We're good enough to take him with 20 minutes notice, take him to all his doctor's appointments, parental visits, WIC screenings, change him, feed him, love him, hold him down for breathing treatments, get up in the night with him.......but not good enough to adopt him? No. We only get to do those things until another family is chosen for him by his unstable parent.

*****

Yeah. Burn.

***

But I won't make J.J. suffer another move because of an unfair system with legal loopholes the size of Texas. We're committed to be there for him for as long as he needs us. Will transitioning him be more difficult the longer he's here? Yup. Will it be harder on everyone? Yup. Is life fair? Nope.

*****

Our worker did say that this is an exceptional case (and admitted that we always manage to get the exceptional cases :) and the circumstances have to be very exact for this to happen.

I do feel good about seeing this through, though, even if it seems unfair. It's really not "me" to abandon a baby because I didn't get my way.

My way would have been nice, though.

J.J.'s Leaving

Well, J.J.'s mother has chosen a private adoption for him. She believes this will allow for more openness and visits she wouldn't otherwise have. This is probably true. Now we have to decide if we should keep him until the new family is chosen and transition him, which could be a couple of months, or have him moved now. We're torn. On the one hand: is another move good for J.J.? Where would he go? Would they take good care of him? Don't we want to see this through, finish what we started? Teach the boys that we complete things to the best of our ability even when it's difficult?

***

On the other hand: Am I strong enough (or willing) to continue to bond to J.J. and care for him knowing that another family was chosen over mine and I'll have to give him to them? Is it good for my boys to continue to bond to him? What if another child comes into foster care that could be ours, but we're in limbo with Joshua and the child is placed elsewhere? Back and forth, back and forth. Micah has left it up to me. I'll see what our caseworker says...

Oaks Amusement Park

Mommy and Kai-Kai:

Saturday we ventured out to Micah's work picnic at Oaks Amusement Park. It was good times! The kids got all the rides they could want, we won a $50 gas card at the raffle (which at current gas prices covered the cost to drive there) and there was plenty of free food.

Daddy and Levi:

Weapons make them smile!
Look at Levi's face!! He was lovin' this!
On the foster care front, J.J.'s mother was told that she could either leave him where he is and DHS will pursue adoption with us, or she could place him for adoption privately. I have never heard of this before, but I guess the lawyer that mom is working with has done it several times. The up side for her would be signing an open adoption contract with the parents of her choosing. She could call the shots with regards to how open the adoption would be, if she could have visits, etc. The down side is another move for the baby. She has to decide by July 8th. We'll see what she chooses.

I did meet with her, give her pictures I had taken of the baby, and we chatted for a while. I feel that it went well and she saw that J.J. likes me. But she may not want him to be child # 4 in the family. I could really see this going either way. God will have the final word.

Life with 4 Little Boys

This picture closely represents how I feel the last few days of settling into a schedule with 4 little boys. I'm tired and I need a long bath! Actually, it's been great. This pic was taken after a photo shoot at the mall. A successful photography session most always ends up like this - tired boys with bribery all over their hands and face. So worth it, though, to document those smiles!

J.J.'s case is going well, I think. DHS is moving toward adoption. But keep in mind that we just got this guy and do not have Current Care-taker status yet. We're far, far from our 6 month mark. I believe the family search still has to happen too, although that avenue will probably hold no options for J.J.

As always, it's up to God to plan our family. He's done a fantastic job so far!

Wherein Malachi Finally Succeeds in Knocking out his Tooth

Well, as you may recall, 5 months ago Kai fell and not only put a gaping hole through his tongue but managed to shove his 2 front teeth back up into his jaw.

Yesterday was act 2.

This time he busted a tooth all the way out. I scooped him up and brought him to Urgent Care and then to the pediatric dentist who confirmed that the tooth was MIA. We wondered where it went. We went out for treats because we survived the day amongst pain, blood and 2 infants who missed their naps. We then headed with our swollen Kai. As we walked into the door, Alexxander was happy to see us return, as usual. A few minutes later I noticed him "sucking" on something. Moving it from cheek to cheek. I forced his jaws apart and found Malachi's tooth. Why he didn't swallow it? No clue. Maybe he was just keeping it safe....

Backtracking a bit...

Thought I'd drop in some pics of our recent warm wheather. Get you all caught up on our 3 boys before we move into posts about life with 4 boys!

Daddy and Levi soakin' up the sun.

We went to Zak's birthday party and they had one of those tiny little motorcycles. Finally after much cajoling and begging, I agreed to let Solomon ride the thing. BUT with full protective gear. AND on the slowest speed. AND the training wheels on. WITH Daddy holding a teather attatched to the frame. But I'm not paranoid or anything.

Whew! What a big, fun day! Time to cuddle on the couch and relax!

It's a(nother) Boy!

Well, it's been quite a day over here! The first happening was a visit from Levi's caseworker. She had asked to come over and I was a bit apprehensive to say the least, as we're a week away from our 6 month mark. What was she coming over to say? Well, she said......drum roll, please........

They have ruled out Levi's relative as a potential placement!! Great news!!

*****

Want some more? Levi's Dad finally realized that he would not be able to parent successfully and signed parental termination papers. Our boy is legally free! We're now moving into current caretaker adoption!! We're so excited as the stress of the last 5 months dissipates into relief and joy.

******

As we were enjoying our good news, our caseworker called. There's an 8-month old baby boy who needs placement. It's legal risk and the case is at the very beginning. But, it could very well move into adoption, as well. We thought about how much Levi loves his baby cousin Bree and is always kind and gentle with her. The last placements were older than Levi and he didn't do well. We decided that a younger child may work out well. Half an hour later, "J" joined us!

As you can see, Levi is really smitten with "baby". We shall see where God is leading us in regards to this child's life, but for now he's safe and we're all enjoying having a little one in the house again. We'll keep you "posted"!

Just a Few More....

As always, thanks to Jay Leno's website. It documents these so folks who don't stay up until the wee hours of the morning can enjoy them:

OoooooKaaaaay.

Toilet Tree Bag, eh? For holding all your various Toilet Trees?

And another from the crime blotter. Fred has successfully foiled all those scary potential seaker-up-oners. Way to go there, Fred.

Now this is just a picture clicked at the right moment as the dog was licking his upper lip. Made me laugh, though!

Alas, this ad will probably go unanswered.

Oh, my. How....er.... dainty.

AHAAAAHAAAAA!!!

Yeah. Our team may need a little more work. Better postone it.

In case it's too small to make out, it reads, "Part of the morning will be spent searching for slugs in the forest. The children do not need a snack that day."

Now, if it's your job to sweep for mines, shouldn't you have the children walk behind you?

Just for your information.

And another ad solidifying our place within the homeschool community.

Ready for Some More Headlines?

Thanks to Jay Leno for these beauts:

Needs a ride to Cincinnati?

And I thought I was taken when my "tea cup" Pomeranian reached the 14 pound mark. These poor customers are going to be sadly, sadly disappointed, I'm afraid.

Ahhaaaaaha! That's just hilarious.

This spunky lady was asked what she'd do if she discovered her hubby had been unfaithful. I love this woman.

Brielle's !1

Summer's Comin'

Swinging with his friends!

Here's just a few miscellaneous shots of the warm weather fun we've been blessed with the last little bit. It's due to get just plain hot here the next few days. There's even rumors of record-breakers coming up. I'm sure hoses and swim trunks will make their first appearance of the year which will be good times!

Sidewalk Chalking

Happy Alexxander

Little boys in trees

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In adoption news:

3 weeks and 1 day until we reach our 6 month mark with Levi! After 6 months we'll have the same legal rights to Levi as his bio family. That means that the Uncle who's wanting custody would have to go to Committee against us to get him. Which very well may happen if Uncle's homestudy goes through and he's approved as a viable placement option. The kicker is if his homestudy comes through BEFORE we reach our 6 month mark. If he's approved BEFORE our mark, we have no legal rights and Levi will be moved. If it comes through after, we get to go to Committee against him for Levi. We happen to know that Uncle's homestudy is nearly done, so we're trying not to get ulcers waiting to see if it comes through before June 6th. The state still has to review the homestudy to see if the family is eligible after all the paperwork is complete, so we may be OK. They may not even be approved - there are a few snags that may disqualify the family. Stressful, though. We don't want to lose our boy. Too much loss for us of late. But we feel that God will have His way. We're trusting Him!

We're Back!

Sorry for the hiatus - our camera broke! And what's a post without pics? Anywho, we're all still alive and well over here. Although one or the other of my guys has been sick for a couple of months now, they just bounce junk back and forth between them. They seem to be on the mend now. Let's see ...what else is new?

Last Sunday we went with Micah to Riverfront Park. His team had practice for Dragon Boat Racing. They'll compete next month, I think. At one of the big festivals where there's booths of all sorts, dance and song performances by local bands and you eat too much deep fried food. There's a beautiful playground and carousel over there, so we decided to grab some shots of the boys for the homeschool yearbook. Some of my faves:

Buds & Brothers

Richard Malachi

Curtis Solomon

Anthony Levi

Oh, and we went to OMSI with our bestest friends and caught Walking with the Dinosaurs and an IMAX production about space. Again, some of my faves:

Best buds Kai and Cayman

Ready for the IMAX show!

Stenciling with Zion

My big kid

...and why we had sand all over the. whole. car.

"Sol! Get outta the sand table for Pete's sake!!"

And, tomorrow my darling niece is having her 1st birthday! It fell on Mother's Day this year - how cool is that? This time last year she was taking her sweet time joining us but her delay caused her to arrive on Grandma Ruby's birthday. Grandma went home to the Lord 4 months earlier, so it was very special that she has her Great-Grandma's birthday.

Oh, and we had our homeschool co-op's annual Easter Egg hunt & BBQ. It rocks that they have it late - all the Easter stuff goes on clearance, so the moms stock up while the prices are LOW, there are tons of eggs to be found and great prizes to win. Also, our Oregon weather tends to be more cooperative in May and the kids can play and egg-hunt without rain. It's a huge pot-luck and everyone always has a blast. My guys look forward to it every year (thanks Joel & Lisa!!). Pics to come...